Military and Maintainer Nicknames Introduction
The readers of Maintainer Humor were asked to list funny maintainer nicknames or crew callsigns, and if needed to provide a short description of how they got it or what makes it funny. Please be advised that some might not be considered "family friendly" and we weren't able to use all submissions due to the 'adult" nature of some on the monikers.
XO was practicing in-flight-refueling when he introduced a sine wave into the hose…. Came back at him and ripped the IFR Probe off his F-18….He was known as “Probe” after that.
My favorite was a friend of mine named Yihao. I called him Yeehaw and wrote a theme song for him and everything. He’d be having a bad day and pile in the bread van all grumpy and then lean over to me say “Sing my song.” All of his cares would just drift away in total zen.
Tim Steber - Simple. Seabiscuit. Because I have a long face.
I got called “fat kid” in Korea because I used to keep food in my cargo and gortex pockets. A slice of pie , burritos, salads, cups of soup / chili. If it didn’t spill, it was free game.
Guy got the nickname Forrest. It stuck when we found out his wife’s name was Jenny.
They called me slick at the because I'd put about a pound of gel in my hair
We had a kid I called him red ball. His plane couldn’t make the go to save his life and every flyer he was on red balled
Sock Boy. Dude passed out with a sock on his junk, porn on the TV. Roommate walked in and found him.
They used to Call me Mo short for Molasses!! I may have been slow but I was always sure the job was done right !!
I knew a guy named toaster because he got his hand stuck in a toaster. When they freed him and asked how he did it, he stuck his hand back in it, and it got stuck again.
I was called Pancho V.I.A. On the C5 The main computer was called the V.I.A and since it was my system, and I'm Mexican, it was the low hanging fruit.
Was deployed with a guy last name Gagnon. His radio call sign was "Reflex". If you don't get it, then don't choke.
I had a guy working with me, last name “Kong”. Needless to say, his nickname was “King”
Big Joe, because he ran the Big Joe forklift into the plane.
We had a guy we called “nutplate” after he dropped a nutplate down FS 245 where the flight control cables ran. We spent 12 hrs easy searching 245, the hell hole, and everywhere else. We never did find it.
"Flash" While at Columbus AFB MS in the sheetmetal shop. I don't know how or why i got that nick name, but pretty sure it wasn't for doing good.
Bore brush. Because at the end of his shift, he looked like he was used to scrub a rifle barrel
Sweats, pitting out was nothing this guy would soak his whole BDU top.
Nicknamed a new guy “Timmy” cuz the second we saw his face and head, he looked like Timmy from South Park.
Wacker. Got drunk and passed out while wacking it. Forgot to close the door.
Aquafina. His last name is actually really close to this. However, he earned this nickname because he ran a tug into the water fountain in the shop and broke it off the wall.
I was TDY with a crew compiled from far and wide. About a week in, we went to this BBQ joint down in Montgomery, AL. This place had BOMB mud pie (chocolate pudding with Oreo topping and a couple other thing on/in it). I ordered one, and it was so good, I ordered a couple more to go for the next two days. The rest of the trip, my name was “puddin.”
I earned the nickname panda bear while in AL Udied. It was because of my sunglasses tan and for the fact that I am Asian. I looked very panda bear-like.
Had a kid in one of the shops I was at that we called McLovin. He looked exactly like that kid in the movie. It hit a point where people actually forgot what his real name was.
A pilot was named “Icky”. When in training he was the last one that didn’t have a callsign. When at a strip club they agreed that a classmate would show a picture to a stripper and the first work that came to her would be it… when I asked what was the picture, he said he still doesn’t know.
Allen, I grounded an aircraft out in the system for a dropped/missing .050 Allen key. (It was recovered three days later)
Lauren Foster - I have several. Fox is my actual nickname, but I get reiterations Foxter, Fossy, Foxy, but other names I have acquired are Spooky and Mom, I don’t hate any of em
Had a lot but Piss mitts was a good one. I got that by showing/asking my expediter about the “jelly stuff” I found in the cockpit.
We were deployed to Saudi from SJ in 93. Had a SSgt crew chief that always rode in the passenger seat of the expediter truck. Would not leave that seat. We called him squat switch.
Kristy Yamaguchi…because he was always skating off. AKA the queen of skates.
Lt in Ops got his changed to “Boom boom”, after he blew both main tires on a squadron wives taxi ride.
Worked with a jet troop we called Blister. He showed up after the work was done.
At Tyndall we had a jet nicknamed "Deer Hunter" because it had struck deer on the runway a couple of times. Pulled into the chocks one night with a deer’s head lodged in the landing gear.
On C130s we had a guy of middle eastern descent. He was terrorist. No joke! And this was in 2004ish. Haha great guy!
10 mil (as in 10mm). Never there when you need them.
Wholesay Ahhriola - Nips was given to me by my supervisor and it stuck ever since. Because my last name is near a nipple. My supervisor had it saved on his phone and his wife saw it. I ended up getting a phone call and she was surprised it wasn’t a woman who answered.
David Oryniak - I'll go with mine- Yak. I like to think it was because the last syllable of my name (iak) is pronounced "yak". But in reality, on my first TDY to Turkey, we were flying in a KC-135 and I got a little motion-sickness... and one of our E-4s asked if I was going to yak. So that stuck. For the record, I did not yak.
Hubble (dudes ears are like satellite dishes)
Had a trainee who was so clueless, he couldn’t follow pictures, let alone pass the 5lvl CDC books. After enough dumb mistakes, on the flightline and in life, we just started calling him Derp. To the point that supervision thought that was his name!
Had an Airman somehow manage to run himself over in his own Jeep by himself. It was a manual as well which adds to the mystery of how the hell that happened. Anyways, from then on everyone, including our CC, called him Speedbump.
I was called Chernobyl because my first day of OJT I almost melted an air data test set by forgetting to make sure the probe heat switch was off and at the time my last name was Cherry so it worked especially well
We had a dude we called half-sack. He got that name because he had a testicle removed due to testicular cancer and we maintainers are horrible people.
Poop suit was given to a MA2 during dive school and stuck with him throughout his career as an operator.
Had a guy get drunk on TDY in Italy, fell asleep in the shower covering the drain. Flooded his room and had water cascading down the stairs…nickname Noah.
I think I had been deemed Twitch, because I got shocked doing AT maint.
Mike Romanczuk - My name is pronounced “Mike Row-man-chuck” Well, it was no big secret that there was a guy in our squadron that I simply did not like, named Chuck. So, of course, the guys all started calling me Micro-chuck.
Boomhauer because I talk fast and with a thick accent when I’ve been drinking lol
Nugit. New Useless Guy In Training
Knew a Bradley driver named "Boblitts"...he very quickly became BlobTits
Yeti. Just built like one I guess
Rooster. Every field repair or equipment setup I went to for a while had roosters around it. Was on a team's call with higher ups and they heard them crowing. Pair that up with I’m from Wooster Ohio and that was the end of it.
Poop Dog because I looked like a toddler in a dirty diaper right after I was issued coveralls. (Editor’s note: He’s also been known as Poopy Pants.)
Dial Up because he was so slow
Flow Control, because I couldn't figure out why the aircraft was showing zero hydraulic pressure while operating the mule. The flow control valve wasn't open...
Knew a pilot with a callsign C.A.S.H. Crash airplane “soils” himself.
I was Squeak for a few months when I was a dumb airman cause at an E-call the CC asked if we had any ideas for equipment we need, and I asked if we were getting new chairs cause the ones we had squeaked.
Pugsly, I’m short and fat.
“Chockblock” from being constantly thrown under the bus.
Met a pilot whose call sign was "porta" and his last name was John.
We had an aircrew chief that had a very slow almost exaggerated gait when he walked across the flightline. He came back from one particular Det with a fairly bad sunburn after watching him walk out to the plane he was henceforth known as the Pink Panther.
We had a guy nicknamed Mr. Green Jeans because after an all nighter in Frankfurt he came downstairs to get on the bus to go to the base and instead of his BDU pants he had on a pair of green jeans ... bloused and all.
His name was Cornejo, remove the r and you get conejo=rabbit, Bunny was his nickname.
J-Bar. Kid was applying pressure on the J-Bar taking off a panel. The screw head came through the hole on the nut. Poor kid face planted on the plane.
Joshua Fleming - Flemroid. We were in Guam, and everyone kept coming up with creativity lacking names like flemonade or flem-dog. Then one of our hydro guys looks at me and just goes "hey Flemroid" I wanted to be mad, but I couldn't. It was too funny. Stuck ever since.
I knew a pilot with the callsign RIPR (pronounced “ripper”). It stood for “Rarely In Projected Realm”. He was never where he was supposed to be.
Topatio because they claimed I looked like the mariachi on the label.
"OD" cuz my maiden name was O'Donnell, "Duck" cuz it was the 13th hour of a 10 hour shift and I was just talking to a guy and he swore that I was quacking. Then the final one was "Angry Mom" or just "Mom".
Crash because he ran an empty missile cart into a wing in the hangar bay.
We were graduating training, and this woman signed a plaque by drawing a snail. When asked about what’s with the snail by the instructor she said that’s me! They call me “Snail trail” We met her at the in person training and she was like “look I didn’t know that was disgusting.”
We called one of our former ISO dock guys Popsicle Stick because he told us a story about once being so constipated, he tried to remove the "blockage" with said item.
There was one kid on the truck that tried to call in sick. When my expediter asked him what was wrong, he said he thinks he has worms. Little did he know there is no such thing as privacy in a box van and immediately earned himself the name wormie.
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