Help me I’m poor

For all the movie buffs out there, you’ll know what I’m talking about when I say that there are just some movies that anyone can relate to in one way or another. Reading this post, you’d probably expect that it would be something like Braveheart, Dunkirk, or Black Hawk Down. But have you ever heard of Bridesmaids? Yeah, me neither. Ok fine — I’ve actually seen it multiple times and can somehow relate to a movie about a bunch of women in their thirties who are trying to plan notch bridal shower, bachelorette party, and wedding for their dear friend. Bridesmaids is a comedy film produced by Judd Apatow that released in 2011 and features the well-known comedian, Kristin Wiig, as the main character. The plot centers around Kristin’s character, Annie, who suffers a series of misfortunes after being asked to serve as the maid of honor for her best friend Lillian’s wedding. In one of the best scenes, Lillian, Annie, and the rest of the bridesmaids are flying to Las Vegas for the bachelorette party. Annie is an extremely nervous flyer and naturally drowns her anxiety with liquor and pills. She sneaks up to first class to be closer to Annie, and after being asked multiple times by the flight attendant to go back to her seat in the economy class (and having some unfriendly exchanges with him), Annie sarcastically murmurs, “help me I’m poor.”

Now that you know the reference, this story will make much more sense. I took a trip to the commissary with my buddy to stock up on some food for the weekend. We had big plans to do a classic BBQ-style meal: burgers, hot dogs, steaks, and potatoes. We were excited for a couple days off and to indulge in a hearty meal that didn’t come from the chow hall. Don’t get me wrong — they’ve stepped it up a bit and started whipping up some pretty decent meals, but we decided that a home-cooked feast would be a nice change. We attempted to divide and conquer the store and each grab different ingredients to split the cost of the groceries. We began walking the aisles and filling up our baskets. I grabbed some condiments, buns, steaks, potatoes, chips, and some other small snacks and sides. I was pretty satisfied with my generosity and my full basket, and as I’m making my way towards the register to meet back up and pay for our groceries, I look over at my buddy and all I see in his basket is a bag of hot dog buns and some chips. No meat, no cheese, no drinks. Nothing else. He seemed to have missed the memo on the whole “splitting the cost” idea. I give him a questioning look and I dart my eyes from my basket to his, then look back up at him. He looks at me with a half-smile and a shrug and says, “Help me I’m poor.”