A while back some marine buddies and I were sitting around swapping stories from our time in the service. Most of us had gotten up to some rotten shit and classic tomfoolery in our time but my one buddy Paul all beat. He told us about the time he went out to a strip club looking for fun and wound up finding a fun-sized time.
My Buddy buddy finally got approved for some leave this was back during his first tour. He had been surrounded by sweaty dudes for what seemed like forever and he was sick of it. He needed to see a woman. Unfortunately for Paul, there wasn’t a ton of options in the form of female entertainment where he was except for one strip club.
There was an old lady, one missing some teeth, and a young midget lady all performing that night at the local strip club. Paul had already gone too far to turn back at this point so he had himself a few drinks. After watching them all perform a little bit he decided that height aside the midget girl wasn’t all that bad looking, a few generous tips later they are talking.
Paul tells this girl that he wants to take her back to base for a little after-hours fun.. If you catch my drift. He was paying well and she had a few drinks in her at this point so she says yes. The only problem was how do you sneak a midget hooker into a military compound. Luckily Paul was always most creative when it came to getting pussy. He decided that since she is so small she can just fit into the trunk of his car.
A few more drinks are exchanged between them Paul loads up his fun-sized date into the trunk and begins to make his way back towards base. Once he gets back to the gate Paul realizes he might come across a little wasted. Again this lucky bastard got it easy our other friend Randy was at the gate that night and just tet Paul past without an issue. Paul was just about home free he only had one more hurdle to clear. His dorm room was on the third floor of the building and he thought people might find it weird if they saw him walking in with a Midget let alone one dressed or rather not dressed the way she was. He gets to his trunk and tells her his plan. He had a duffle bag in the car. Needless to say, she was not happy at the prospect but she agreed to it nonetheless. A hop and a skip later she was in the duffle bag and Paul was on his way to his dorm room. Three flights of stairs later and Paul had the best night of his life.
To this day none of us believe him but hell it was a good story. And if anyone would do that it would’ve been Paul.