40 Of The Best Chuck Norris Jokes
Carlos Ray "Chuck" Norris is an American martial artist, actor, film producer, and screenwriter. He is a man of many talents who accomplished many pursuits in his life. Because of his many accomplishments there is slew of jokes and memes that honor his name.
1. When God said, “Let there be light!” Chuck said, “Say Please.”
2. Chuck refers to himself in the fourth person.
3. The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. You know what happened to them.
4. Chuck Norris once won an underwater breathing contest. With a fish.
5. Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
6. Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.
7. If you want a list of Chuck Norris’ enemies, just check the extinct species list.
8. Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano.
9. The dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
10. Chuck Norris can kill two birds with one stone.
11. Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
12. A bullet proof vest wears Chuck Norris for protection.
13. Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.
14. Chuck Norris once had a heart attack. His heart lost.
15. There has never been a hurricane named Chuck because it would have destroyed everything.
16. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
17. The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It didn’t work.
18. Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
19. When Chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.
20. Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
21. Freddy Krueger has nightmares about Chuck Norris.
22. Chuck Noris has never blinked once in his life. Never.
23. The flu gets a Chuck Norris shot every year.
24. Chuck Norris doesn’t cheat death. He wins fair and square.
25. Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience.
26. Chuck Norris beats rock, paper, scissors.
27. When Chuck Norris slices onions, onions cry.
28. Chuck Norris invented airplanes because he was tired of being the only person who could fly.
29. A snake bit Chuck Norris once, it dies two days later.
30. Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in.
31. Bigfoot once claims he saw Chuck Noris.
32. Chuck Norris can lift a chair up with one hand… while sitting on it.
33. When the Boogyman goes to bed at night he check the closet for Chuck Norris.
34. Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
35. Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
36. Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, death just hasn’t built up the courage to tell him.
37. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’s beard. There is just another fist.
38. Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
39. When we first landed on the moon, the astronauts there was a print on the moon that said “Chuck Norris was here.”
40. Chuck Norris has been exposed to Corona Virus and now Corona Virus is in quarantine.